5 Tips for Success and Making Stuff Work
People often ask me about mindset and my philosophy. They ask me about what it takes to be successful in their endeavours. Over the next few blogs I will share a few secrets with you that help keep me on track and inspire me when things are tough.
I apologise if you are offended by swearing. I wouldn’t usually swear in a blog but it is a direct quote and it is a quote which inspires me. You can continue reading to find the source of my motivation or you can choose to go and read something else.
Tip #1 Be selective about who you listen to, very selective!
It doesn’t matter what you do, you will be judged. Every person you come in contact with (and some you won’t come in contact with!) will have opinions and judgements on who you are and what you should do. Whether you have passed or failed, won or lost, are rich or poor, loud or quiet, tall or short, smart or dumb, positive or negative, people will form an opinion. If you have done things this way or that, logically or otherwise people will judge you and your actions.
This can be very disheartening and off-putting especially if you are feeling a little vulnerable when your dream project is struggling to work, or if you are trying something new or wonderfully massive and scary.
I have found that the most off-putting are people who really care about me but who couldn’t understand why I would take risks when I could be stable and normal like everyone else…
“Serena you shouldn’t quit your job, it’s a good job”
“But I don’t want a job; I want to try my hand at business”
“But it’s a good job, and it is good money”
“Yes I understand that it’s a good job with good money but it’s not what I want to do, I want to see if I do something more fulfilling”
“BUT IT’S A GOOD JOB!! You are CRAZY to quit your job!”
The more different you are and the more outrageous your goal, the more you will be hit with a continuous ‘noise’ of opinions, judgements, advice and best intentions on what you should do.
Over time I have developed very selective hearing to deal with the ‘noise’. This selective hearing allows me to listen to people who have good ideas, new opportunities or who support my efforts and it also allows me to smile and nod to all the people with superfluous ‘noise’.
This took me some time to develop as I had to release the idea that my closest friends and relatives should support me and understand me. I now accept that many people I know and love do not understand or care about what I am doing but I enjoy their company for other lovely reasons! I do have 2 or 3 people who I go to any time I am lacking in confidence, positivity or motivation in the knowledge that they believe in me, and support me in all of my endeavours.
I am lucky enough to have one of those people be my husband, John, who, when I came to him once in a moment of quashed confidence, quoted Irish poet, writer and novelist Brendan Behan. He said “Fuck the begrudgers!”
These three words gave me a massive sense of confidence and freedom and are now one of my tools for self motivation. As long as I am on the path to achieving the goals I have set for myself I will not care how I am perceived.
If you find yourself going for some great goal when people unwittingly take the time to dissuade you, take a few moments and say to yourself: “fuck the begrudgers!” You will feel a surge of self-confidence… I promise!
Stay tuned for Tip #2 Being Generous ! : )
7:48 am
Hi Serena,
I love it!
The people who are most afraid of getting out of their own rut are usually the noisest in trying to keep you in yours.
Here are a couple of quotes for those that may be gazing out of their ruts and wondering if they really can get out….
“Entrepreneurship is a state of mind, a can-do attitude, a capacity to focus on a vision and work toward it.”
— Barry Rogstad
“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world.”
— Buddha
Keep it going Serena
1:53 pm
Thanks Raoul, so so true and I love the quotes!
12:27 pm
Congratulations! You rock
12:16 pm
Way to go Serena! (and John)
John’s quote made me laugh out loud. AND ITS SO TRUE. At the end of my life I will not be regretting the might have beens. I will be totally happy in my successes and the lessons learned and wonderful people (like you) I met along the way.
Have you heard of the poem Ithaca by Greek poet Cavafy? Its also really inspiring and about the journey being soooooo important.
You are a gem and a wonder and an inspiration to all. So glad you are in my world.
the Personal Development Ninja. http://www.PersonalDevelopmentNinja.com
1:56 pm
Hey Jennifer,
Yeah it’s a great quote eh! I haven’t read Ithaca, I will add it to my reading list, thank you! xx
8:31 am
The problem can be when the begrudger decides to come and visit inside your head. I had to buy steel-capped boots. Even though I know where I am going, we all have tired days, or slow days. It is good to have a plan for those days. These can include a nap, go to the movies, go for a walk in the countryside, a coffee with a friend. The begrudger hates these kind of things and tends to move on.
I do believe that if you are creating a wonderful life for yourself, that you need to start living it now rather than waiting for yourself to “hit the big time”.
I get up every morning and make myself a proper, coffee bean coffee that I grind myself, froth up the milk and put chocolate on the top. Then I sit in the sun and drink it. Why – because that is what I want my life to include. That little touch of luxury followed by doing what I grow to love more every day – writing, teaching, coaching and meeting people who have dreams.
Thanks Serena
6:53 am
I think you’re right on with tip #1 here. It’s not the complete haters who get to you – in fact they can often be your greatest motivators – but many people who you love and care about come from a good place in trying to “help you,” but end up dampening your hopes with any risks you take. I’ve definitely found that to be true during my journey (still in progress), as well. Ironically, friends my age who have jobs and families and stability are the ones who are unquestionably encouraging me the most to take risks and go off the beaten path. As for the detractors, I love Sylvester Stallone’s quote: “The greatest revenge is massive success.” Love the blog. Keep up the good fight!
7:42 pm
I love that quote, I may have to “borrow it” some time!
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